How to Figure Out What You Want to Do With Your Life

1. Tell yourself that you have time

2. Suddenly turn twenty nine and realize you don’t really have that much time

3. Panic to the point where you are mentally and physically exhausted

4. Sleep it off

5. Turn thirty and realize you’ve been sleeping it off for a whole year

6. Decide to follow your high school dream

7. Come to the realization that you are absolute shit at your high school dream

8. Keep your day job (become nicer to your boss as the realization that he/she is all you may have slowly dawns on you)

9. Sit patiently while your brains plays you a memory film titled “your greatest failures over the past few years and why, because of them, you will never amount to anything.” 

10. Make some popcorn, the film is very long

11. Decide to help people learn from your mistakes by creating a blog of your Greatest Hits (of failures) 

12. Get your boss a coffee and bow as you enter their office as you remember how little else you have in life right now