TV & More

Podcast Reviews: Caliphate & Dirty John

Life Hack: Binge-listen to interesting podcasts when running long errands alone to avoid shooting self in face.

Whenever there’s a task that I don’t want to do that requires me to be alone while doing it, I like to pop in my earphones and listen to a podcast. Recently, I came across two different series that I managed to finish in less than a day, each!

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Caliphate: Ever wonder what makes an average kid from a place like Canada join ISIS? No? Is that not what normal people spend their days thinking about? How dare you imply that I am not normal! Anyway, tune into this podcast to hear first-hand why a young Pakistani-Canadian with moderate Muslim parents joined ISIS, how he joined ISIS, what happened when he joined ISIS and how he got out. I think i’ve typed ISIS enough times to get myself on some kind of watch-list. I will now be going underground for some time.

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Life · Random

Bite Me, Royal Wedding.

Like everyone else on the planet (and possibly, those that remain undiscovered out there) I watched the Royal Wedding today. I won’t lie, I was devastated. Was there a little part of me that was happy for Megan? No. Absolutely not. That should have been me. In fact, that should have been me when William married Kate but I have chosen to forgive him because he went bald way too fast for my liking so Harry was meant to be it. My ticket out of my 9 to 5, my ticket out of a title-less life, out of singlehood and the possibility of birthing any more none-royal-blooded offspring. Yes, yes I love my daughter, but IS SHE A WINDSOR?

Am I deserving of a man like Harry? You may ask as you eye me plastered out, in oversized tracks, face down on the couch biting into chocolates I brought with me back from the UK … and to that I say, yes. Yes, because I clean up nice (kinda) and I am quite the conversationalist and have a wicked sense of humor but you wouldn’t know it because I suffer from introvertedness and shrivel up into a human form of a trembling tortoise whenever there are more than a handful of people in a room BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN I AM UNWORTHY OF LOVE. And by love I mean the Royal kind because commoner men do not interest me.

So i’ll just sit here next to Chelsy Davy and try to keep a straight face whilst shrieking on the inside as I ponder how the f-bomb it wasn’t me standing up there with him today.

Travel

Hotel Review: Shangri-La in Muscat, Oman

shangri la muscat booking

Rating: 7/10

This is one of the few hotel options out there that caters to every type of guest. With two large resorts connected by a long shoreline, Shangri-La offers a family-style option, named Al Waha and an upscale, romantic stay, Al Bandar, that is strategically nested up on a small cliff overlooking the ocean.

The Vibe:Laid back. Al Waha has no shortage of activities for the little ones. Outdoor activities include multiple pools (for all ages) a large grass play-area, and a lazy river. If the sun gets to be too much there is also a small indoor play-room with seated activities and a bigger indoor play area with large slides and walls to climb. Al Bandar boasts multiple pools as well and a lazy river, water sports and spacious beach-front lounge areas.

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Random

The Extra-Marital Affair

A few years ago, if I sat across from a friend who I thought was about to make a big mistake in her life I would offer my time and advice and then watch with a heavy heart as she avoided taking it and dove face first into her fuckfest of an idea. Today, however, I have less time and energy to offer, mainly because I don’t want to develop grey hair or wrinkles worrying about other peoples’ problems but also because life has gotten very boring and i’m in dire need of entertainment.

Now, my method is to listen, judge silently, encourage them to move forward with their insane idea (message the guy who’s practically gotten a restraining order against you? Great idea!) and then sit back and enjoy the ride. If you’re thinking, God what a horrible friend, please know that what I lack in sincerity I make up for with cut-throat sarcasm and guacamole.

Which brings me to my topic today. Extra-marital affairs. It’s noon and i’m sitting across one of my most glamorous friends, between us lie two coffee mugs, plates of eggs benedict, truffle fries and Pistachio flavored pancakes. My friend had just flown in from the Maldives.

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Travel

If Someone Screams Girls Trip One More Time…

I went on a weekend getaway last week that didn’t start off too well. Being a person who was always on time, I arrived to the airport early and proceeded to wait for my two friends who ran in just as the counter was about to close, puffy faced and rambling about how they almost ran over a local celebrity. The gentleman at the counter was kind enough to let us through if they told him which local celebrity, after which we headed straight to the plane.

Just as we boarded a huge storm hit and the captain came out to tell us the that the airport was temporarily closed and if anyone wanted to get off the plane for a bit, that would be fine.. but apparently my friend heard “we’re all going to die, this is the end…” and literally panic-runs off the plane.

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Random

The Giant Lizard That Hated Me

You know that saying “when it rains, it pours?” Well, I got drenched this week. It all started with a terrible lizard nightmare. The lizard was twice my size and it kept following me around the house until I managed to trap it in one of the bedrooms. I promise you, the dream was a lot more haunting than you would think.

I had the dream interpreted by a local religious man slash dream interpreter (which is what all rational people do) and learned that the lizard symbolized an enemy, a downfall in the workplace or a deadly disease. Knowing my luck, it would be all three… so I began to keep an eye out for lumps, crazy drivers and kept an extra eye out for my parents and siblings in case one of them was secretly out to get me.

Then work drama hit. It was swift and I didn’t see it coming and I reacted the best way I knew how, by crying at my desk while chugging Starbucks lattes.

Then my credit card got stolen and I had to cancel it and reissue another one which was fine it wasn’t a large sum and I was adamant about being optimistic at this point. Which went well until I lost the whole damn wallet. Bank cards, insurance cards and IDs…all gone. Cue more tears.

It was at this point that my friend pointed out that it didn’t seem like I was having a good week and I was like “uh, you think?” because other things were going on in my personal life that weren’t working out so great (also more tears) so when I got home at the end of the week with eyeliner smears all the way down to my neck and my mother asked me what was wrong all I could say was “the lizard was right”.