Random

The Giant Lizard That Hated Me

You know that saying “when it rains, it pours?” Well, I got drenched this week. It all started with a terrible lizard nightmare. The lizard was twice my size and it kept following me around the house until I managed to trap it in one of the bedrooms. I promise you, the dream was a lot more haunting than you would think.

I had the dream interpreted by a local religious man slash dream interpreter (which is what all rational people do) and learned that the lizard symbolized an enemy, a downfall in the workplace or a deadly disease. Knowing my luck, it would be all three… so I began to keep an eye out for lumps, crazy drivers and kept an extra eye out for my parents and siblings in case one of them was secretly out to get me.

Then work drama hit. It was swift and I didn’t see it coming and I reacted the best way I knew how, by crying at my desk while chugging Starbucks lattes.

Then my credit card got stolen and I had to cancel it and reissue another one which was fine it wasn’t a large sum and I was adamant about being optimistic at this point. Which went well until I lost the whole damn wallet. Bank cards, insurance cards and IDs…all gone. Cue more tears.

It was at this point that my friend pointed out that it didn’t seem like I was having a good week and I was like “uh, you think?” because other things were going on in my personal life that weren’t working out so great (also more tears) so when I got home at the end of the week with eyeliner smears all the way down to my neck and my mother asked me what was wrong all I could say was “the lizard was right”.

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