Because PUMPKIN! Is An Appropriate Answer to All Stock Market-Related Questions ..

I am not stupid.. I feel like I should start with that. However, I am CONSTANTLY on my phone which means if you ask me how I am or what client recently bought X amount of Y-Bank stocks you’ll probably recieve an answer like “huh?” Or “which one is Y-Bank, again?” Or even a straight up answer of “pumpkin!” Because I was probably Googling a bomb-ass recipe for pumpkin soup before you interrupted me.

This has led many managers at my work place to (rightfully) question any and all of my work-related decisions.

Which brings us to last week when each Department was asked to nominate someone to handle a company-wide task. I was nominated and informed that I would be compensated for the extra work so I agreed.

Then came the meeting during which we were going to be briefed on all things related.

There we sat, ten employees around a large meeting room table. The meeting starts ten minutes late because I went to the wrong floor (but lets not dwell on that) and behind me are two managers from my Dept.

Me: I thought only I was nominated

Manager 1: yes, upper management just wanted us here for .. uh .. support

Me: but i can handle this on my own .. ooh sorry wait *listens to three minute voice note*

I.T. GUY HANDLING POWERPOINT: and that concludes our meeting .. make sure everything is submitted within the next two weeks.

Me to Managers behind me: WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

Manager 2: it’s okay, we’ll handle it

Me: but i’m still getting compensated, right?

Manager 1 and 2: yes.


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